Deep thoughts

It has been awhile…

So I guess I haven’t really had a chance to sit and watch TV since the horrific events in Connecticut on Friday.  Paige was home sick today so while she was resting, I got sucked in to the TV shows that talked of nothing else.

It took me back…

April 20, 1999

I was finishing up my last semester of education classes and looking forward to student teaching the next semester.  On a whim, some friends and I took a little afternoon trip to a creek and did some fishing.  (If I remember correctly, I spent more time trying to get my fishing line out of the tree than actually fishing.)  Anyway, it was a carefree spring day.  When we came back in to the good ole BSU I remember being drawn to the TV.  As someone who was getting ready to teach for a living, I barely pulled myself away from the TV for the next few days.  I watched all the news reports and even some of the funerals.  How could this happen?

April 20, 2000

I was teaching 3rd grade.  There was a lot of apprehension about the anniversary of Columbine so our school was on lock down for the day.  No one really seemed to know what this meant except we were going to keep all outside door locked.  This was a great plan except for one thing…my classroom was in an outside trailer.  I remember standing outside waiting for someone to come open the door and thinking that my little class looked like sitting duck if anyone wanted to have target practice.  I was still so stinking scared.


I work in a school district that has a plan.  Hopefully, we never have to figure out how good of a plan it is but we have a plan and we know what to do in the case of the unthinkable.  I am confident in my administrators to make decisions that are for the best for my students and me.

People are shocked.  I am shocked, sad, and sickened.  But I also know that in a way I’m not shocked.  This is a crazy world we live in.  Every time I see someone in our building that I don’t know, I go out of my way to figure out who it is.  Why?  Because this is a crazy world.  I think about the possibilities of what could happen in my school several times a week.

Are stricter gun laws going to fix it?  I don’t think so.  People who want guns are going to get guns just like people who want drugs, get drugs.

I don’t know what the answer is.  I don’t like that I have to have these conversations with my 6 year old little girl.

Here’s what I know…

I try very hard to teach my own children about compassion and generosity.  That can’t hurt.

I try very hard to love the children that come in to my library every day.  I learned a long time ago that I might be the only one who loves them that day.  That can’t hurt.

I try to do like my dad taught me and live like I’m the only Bible someone might read.  That can’t hurt.

I am praying for the families, friends and all the frightened kids in our country tonight.  May God hear our prayers and send a great revival to our land.  That’s the answer.