To Apologize?

Sometimes I have a bad day.  (Not really today but sometimes it does happen)

My question today is, how often, if ever, do you apologize to your kids?  I feel like this is a hot topic.  I know some people who have never had their parents apologize to them for anything EVER.  Others apologize all the time so that their kids are in charge.

I will admit that sometimes after a particular trying day at the middle school, I am more likely to get mad a little more easily.  I have been known to say, “I deal with bad kids all day long, I’m not going to come home and deal with more!”  Now I say sometimes because really most days are a joy to work with my little middle-school monsters.  They say the funniest things!……Getting off topic here.  So if I fly off the handle at the littlest thing because I have had a rough day, I have been known to go back and apologize for losing my temper so quickly.  Is that a bad thing?  Does that make the kids win?

I tend to think that, in moderation, it is a good thing to apologize to our kids.  I don’t want my kids to think I’m perfect.  If I make a mistake by them, I want to be able to apologize and let them know I am going to try harder next time to do a better job.  For example, if you have a kid who has been telling you they don’t feel good and you blow it off as trying to stay up later or get out of doing their chores AND THEN they throw up everywhere!  That would be a time when I think I would apologize for not believing them and then explain why that is the reason you should never lie about how you feel.  I think that if I never apologize, then why should they apologize?

I know there is a fine line between apologizing only when you have truly made a mistake and letting your kids run the house and be in charge of you.

What do you think?  Do you apologize to your kids?  I’m very interested to hear what you think.


2 thoughts on “To Apologize?

  1. aliveandwellinkansas says:

    Well…I can’t speak as a parent–unless you count me as the mommy to Swirls the Cat. BUT, I can speak as a former child/teenager. I would have really appreciated an apology from time to time–I can still think of some specific times when I was a teenager and knew the adult knew they were in the wrong–but never apologized.

    And yes, I also apologize to Swirls the Cat on occasion–especially when I realize he’s been out of water for a few days and has had to survive by drinking from the toilet (yep, I just went there)! Narsty.

  2. MaryAnn James says:

    Amy, you and I both know children learn by example so if your child says something he/she shouldn’t, would you want them to apologize? Rule of thumb in our household – if it is negative, get rid of it with a quick and sincere apology because ‘little things said/done’ can fester and grow then infect a relationship – that is true between child/parent, spouses, relatives, friends, acquaintances…you get the idea.

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